


Flowers for You

by InvitingNonsenseWorld



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Childhood, Flowers, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Language of Flowers, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-09-18 14:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9388958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InvitingNonsenseWorld/pseuds/InvitingNonsenseWorld
Summary: Kei wasn’t one to care about flowers. Yes, they were beautiful, sometimes smelled nice, and his parents loved giving and receiving them from each other. When Yamaguchi became Kei’s first long-lasting friend, flowers became a constant in his life - Yamaguchi’s mother liked presenting others with flowers because of her work and he had caught her habit, Yamaguchi would say, and that was that.Or it’d be if Kei didn’t discover years later that flowers are said to have meanings, and all of a sudden, he was faced with the realization that Yamaguchi’s recent flower gifts had different meanings from friendship as Kei had imagined.Shots from Yamaguchi’s and Tsukishima’s lives as they grow up and their relationship slowly changes.





	1. They were simple at the beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this on tumblr last year, and since the second part is almost finished, I decided I might as well post it here already. I’ve had this idea for a long time, but last year was super busy for me, then I kinda got lazy and yeah. It's here now, though, and I hope to get the next chapter up until the end of the month (or mid February at most? I still don't have as much free time as I'd like to).

  * **…from shaking hands**



It was almost lunch time. Kei was sitting on the couch in the living room with the television turned on, but his attention didn’t stay on the show passing for more than a few seconds. The kitchen door was open, and from Kei’s position it was easy to see the wall with the clock just by turning back.

He was stuck in a cycle of glancing at the clock, pretending to watch the television whenever his mother or father walked by, faking a bored, nonchalant look, and ignoring the restlessness building inside his chest. It didn’t help that Akiteru sat beside him with a book and a knowing smile, mentioning he wanted to keep his little brother company as he waited.

Kei appreciated the feeling, but not so much the obstacle he created between Kei and the clock. How was Kei supposed to know when it was the time Yamaguchi was going to arrive?

The bell rang.

Kei’s head shot up, and he tried to fight against an embarrassed blush as his brother chuckled. “Shut up,” he said, but Akiteru’s grin remained in place, so Kei hurried to the front door and opened it slowly, casual.

Kei looked down at Yamaguchi’s small figure then stared in surprise. The shy smile and the fidgeting weren’t unusual - Kei was already getting used to them - but the small bouquet, if it could be called that when there were only four flowers, on Yamaguchi’s arms was.

“Hi.”

“H-Hi. Hm, I…” Yamaguchi said, stuttering, then paused. Kei waited as he took a deep breath and muttered something to himself before he continued. “This is a gift. For you. F-for your family, that is. My mom works at a flower shop, and she likes giving flowers to people, so she- so, she asked me to give you some. As thanks for b-being my friend and inviting me for lunch.” Yamaguchi gave him a hesitant smile. “She can be very sentimental sometimes.”

He was expecting Kei to laugh at his joke, or at least smile, but Kei’s mind was stuck in the word friend. It was ridiculous, Kei knew that, but it was undeniable the wave of comfort that came to him at the word.

“Thanks,” Kei said, then picked up the bouquet from Yamaguchi’s trembling hands. The corners of his mouth turned up into a small smile. Yamaguchi gave an audible sigh of relief, his posture slumping, and a responding grin appeared on his face.

Behind him, Kei heard his mother approaching. She greeted Yamaguchi, and Kei introduced them to each other, but when she asked about the bouquet, Kei let the explanation for Yamaguchi, who told her between stutters that it was a thanks gift from his mother. It was an unusual gift, but Kei knew his mother was delighted when she noticed it was flowers.

“These are peach roses, and the yellow one is a daffodil,” Yamaguchi said, pointing to each of them in succession.

“They’re so beautiful. Thank you, Yamaguchi-kun,” his mother said. “I’ll put these in a vase and help Kei’s father finish cooking, so why don’t you come inside and you two go play in the meantime? When lunch is ready, I’ll call you.”

Kei didn’t hesitate to give her the bouquet. “Alright. Let’s go, Yamaguchi.”

Kei ushered Yamaguchi inside, but they didn’t go far before Akiteru appeared and new introductions had to be made. Yamaguchi’s eyes shined with admiration when he discovered Akiteru was the brother Kei had said played volleyball so well, and Kei’s chest swelled in pride when Yamaguchi mentioned how amazing it must be to train with a brother so skillful.

It was so easy to interact with Yamaguchi, and despita having somewhat different tastes, they still managed to keep a natural conversation going all the time. The afternoon went by quicker than Kei would have liked, but it was fun.

Later, when it was already late at night and Yamaguchi was long gone, Kei sneaked to the living room, stopped in front of Yamaguchi’s flowers, and stared at them, thoughtful. He tried sniffing them - Kei hadn’t wondered what was so interesting about flowers for a while because he was used to his parents giving some to each other from time to time, but as sleep didn’t come to him, his curiosity was ignited again.

They didn’t have a special smell, to Kei’s disappointment. They were just flowers, after all, and flowers still weren’t much his thing.

Yet, as he kept looking at them, he had to admit the roses and the daffodil made a nice combination. They were delicate looking and had soft colors under the moonlight that slipped through the curtains, and they reminded him of Yamaguchi’s shy smile - a new friend with new habits to get used to.

The more Kei looked, the more he felt the flowers were captivating, alluring in their mystery and in the feelings hidden between the petals. It made him want to take a picture, so maybe then he'd be able to capture this moment, keep the flowers alive forever and try to decipher what it was about them that everyone loved.

He threw away the stupid idea as soon as it came to his mind, deciding to go sleep. It was stupid to lose time wondering about flowers when he could question Yamaguchi about them - subtly, of course; no need to have his reasons known. Maybe he’d even get some more in the future to compare what they felt like.

Kei wouldn’t mind getting used to them if they came together with Yamaguchi’s friendship.

 

* * *

 

  * **…as a promise and a remembrance**



Pathetic.

So pathetic.

The word revolved inside Kei's head taunting him, throwing the reason for Akiteru’s lie on his face. He was tired, and he wished his mind would stop for a few minutes so he could try to breathe enough air since, as it was, he felt close to suffocating.

Lies were ugly things, but so were expectations. Kei hadn’t considered it before, but caring too much about something and committing to it when the success path wasn’t clear was stupid. Disappointment in yourself and coming from others was the obvious consequence in that case, and it had been what Akiteru was trying to avoid, of course it had. He couldn’t let his little brother down, but it was Kei who backed him in a corner to begin with.

Did Kei even have the right to feel upset with Akiteru? Or, better yet, did he even truly feel sad or annoyed in the midst of sharp resignation and acceptance?

He was so pathetic, and he was tired.

“Tsukki, we arrived.”

Kei also didn’t want to go home and face his parents. Somewhere along the way back from the volleyball game, he gave in to Yamaguchi’s invitation to go to his apartment instead. However, when Kei glanced to the side and focused on actually looking, it wasn’t the small building where Yamaguchi lived that he saw, but potted plants and flowers on display behind a glass window - Yamaguchi’s mother’s flower shop?

“The lock of our front door broke and my mom changed it, but I forgot to pick the new key this morning. Hope you don’t mind coming here for a second,” Yamaguchi said, and Kei shrugged.

The inside of the shop was full of plants of all sorts, more colorful flowers than Kei cared to count, plant pots of different sizes exposed to one side, and a characteristic smell that Kei still wasn’t sure if it was a mix of the flower’s aroma, wet soil, or them all together. Kei used to like going to the flower shop because it was always calm there. Yamaguchi’s mother was nice and welcomed him whenever, but right now, the flowers made him think of this parents, and thus Akiteru’s situation came back to poke his mind as if with hot coal.

Kei’s hands closed in fists as a wave of emotions threatened to choke him. It was ridiculous.

He turned his face to the side so Yamaguchi wouldn’t notice, and made sure to keep his breathing calm and not shaky.

Yamaguchi didn’t say anything. He went through the back door, no doubt in search of his mother in the small staff room, and came back after a short while with a silver key.

“My mom said there’s some leftovers in the fridge if we get hungry. There’s also snacks if you prefer something else,” Yamaguchi said.

Kei nodded. Yamaguchi went behind the counter, seeming to look for something, so Kei tried to distract himself by looking at some flower arrangements - some were colorful mixes, others had different hues of the same color, and Kei realized he couldn't remember any of their names despite having heard them countless times. For some reason, that hit him hard, and Kei’s inconvenient mind ended up as his only distraction for the few seconds it took until Yamaguchi stopped beside him.

“Hey, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi’s tone was soft, but the shop was empty and it sounded loud, too noisy and too much in that moment. “Tsukki, say something. You’ve been quiet since-”

“Yamaguchi, shut up,” Kei snapped, turning his head to glare at him. “If you want to talk then you’re losing your time. Maybe I should just go home after all.”

Kei felt a pang of regret when Yamaguchi startled before it was replaced by exhaustion. He didn’t mean to snap at Yamaguchi. What right did he have to do that? None.

He opened his mouth, whether to apologize or make his situation worse he wasn’t sure, but no words came out. He watched as Yamaguchi’s surprise changed into frustration - his hand clenched the hem of his shirt and he bit his lip.

“I can’t hold you back if you want to go home, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi started. He looked from one side of the shop to the other, then went to his right, stopped in front of some flowers and seemed to start tending them. Kei wondered if that was as good as a dismission in Yamaguchi’s non-confronting way. “But at least, take this with you.”

Yamaguchi picked a blue flower from an arrangement and gave it to Kei.

“This is a tulip.”

“I know that,” Kei said back, still snappy. He wanted to pinch himself hard so maybe then he'd stop acting like an idiot with Yamaguchi, who of all people wasn’t to blame for anything. “Why give it to me now? You want me to go around through the streets with a _flower_?”

Yamaguchi hesitated, then shrugged, but Kei could see the momentaneous hurt in his eyes. “I can, uh, wrap it up, if you prefer. And put it inside a bag so it won’t be too visible, b-but listen to me first, Tsukki. Please.”

Kei remained in silence, and Yamaguchi gladly took it as a confirmation to continue.

“It’s a promise sign,” he said. “I can’t do much, but you can talk with me if you want, or if you just want a company, or even a distraction, I’ll be there.”

Kei could almost hear the implicit ‘I won’t be like Akiteru’, and he spoke on an impulse. “You can’t promise you won’t lie. You’re human, and humans lie. That’s part or our nature, we’re mean creatures.”

“I’m not saying that, e-even if I want to. Just that you can count on me, okay?”

“But why a flower if you just said what you mean?”

“Flowers are important to me. It’s just a symbol you can look at for a while, I guess.”

Yamaguchi gave him a small smile and a thumbs up, but when the silence stretched between them, he bit his lip in uncertainty. Kei wanted to reassure him the problem wasn’t anything he said, but Kei himself.

Could he believe in Yamaguchi? Usually yes, but right now, no. There was a mix of warmth and unneasiness inside him, but nevertheless he couldn’t deny it was a relief hearing the reassurance that he could lean on Yamaguchi.

“Why are you acting all sentimental?” Kei settled on asking. He expected Yamaguchi to get embarrassed, maybe blush or stutter, and then Kei would make a comment as a joke and everything would be back to normal. Instead, Yamaguchi leaned forward, eyes serious and posture determined.

“Why not? You’re my friend, Tsukki, and this is important.”

Any other words Kei could say after that got stuck inside his throat.

He decided to still go to Yamaguchi’s apartment, and after a tense conversation with his parents later that day, he got the permission to sleep there. Yamaguchi’s mother brought home a small carrot cake when she arrived from work, and they all watched together a movie in the living room. It was a peaceful evening, and if it wasn’t for the memory of earlier poking inside his head from time to time, it’d have been nice.

At night, Kei managed to sleep for longer than he had imagined before a nightmare woke him up. He spent the remaining hours until dawn looking at the ceiling, then at the window, and then at blue tulip inside a vase by his futon.

In the next morning, it was easier to hide his feelings to sort them out later. By the time he got home, Kei knew he looked normal if not a bit tired, and it was like that that he endured the tension that spiked inside his house after he first crossed ways with his brother. It was a long Sunday, and Yamaguchi’s tulip in his room was grounding.

Time went by, the tulip withered and life continued as usual, even if his relationship with his brother didn't go back to how it was - it probably never would, despite the tension slowly decreasing and the normalcy at home returning to a certain degree. On the other hand, Yamaguchi remained by Kei's side without anything changing. At random moments, he still gave a flower to Kei, and Kei finally got good at remembering their names.

The blue tulip, however, he didn’t receive again until years later when Yamaguchi went to his house to study for their last middle school test.

Kei opened the door for him then picked a few snacks for them in the kitchen as Yamaguchi greeted his parents. They went to Kei’s room, and only then, after Kei opened his notebook, did he notice Yamaguchi put a blue tulip on his study table.

“I meant to bring this only after our tests ended, but we’ll be so busy that I didn’t want to risk forgetting,” Yamaguchi said.

The memory of the last time Kei received a blue tulip came unbidden to his mind, and he stared at it in confusion. His mind tried to make a quick connection, but it came up with nothing. Akiteru now had a part-time job, so he wasn’t much at home, and it wasn’t even near the time of the year of that volleyball game years ago.

Yamaguchi seemed to understand Kei’s silence as a question, and he gave an embarrassed laugh. The tips of his ears were red, and the color quickly spread to his cheeks, making his freckles outstand.

“I-it’s hard to explain, but-” Yamaguchi said, interrupted himself and sighed. “It’s a gift. High school is getting closer and we’ll receive our entrance exam results soon, so it’s a message for all that’s going to come.”

“A message?”

“Yeah. It’s going to be alright. We’ll be alright,” Yamaguchi said with a smile.

All of a sudden, the connection made itself clear, and a problematic pang in Kei's chest made itself known. The tulips were given in two different situations, but the warm sensation behind their reasons was still there.

Yamaguchi’s friendship habit.

_(I’ll be there. You can count on me, okay?)_

A promise to stay close even if they didn’t make it to the same High School, Kei supposed.

Such a complicated feeling. That was something hard to promise, and yet, here was Yamaguchi saying it once again.

Kei twirled the flower stalk and murmured his thanks. When he asked for Yamaguchi’s help in searching for a free vase, Yamaguchi didn’t hesitate in doing so. His constant presence was a comfort, and Kei realized that he also didn’t want to lose this during High School.

 

* * *

 

  * **…as an origami**



“They’re still going on about that?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Yeah,” Kei said. He glared at the classroom door for a few more seconds until he was sure the tips of Hinata’s attention-calling hair had disappeared from the corner, then he gave in to the urge to sigh in annoyance. He moved around the food from his lunch then picked a piece of the fried fish. “I thought the idiot duo had enough brain to know when to stop, but I suppose I shouldn’t have expected anything less.”

“So mean, Tsukki.”

“It’s true.”

Yamaguchi shrugged, but Kei knew he agreed at least in part by the amused smile on his face.

“Hopefully Yachi-san will be feeling better tomorrow and come to school. They’ll calm down after she gives them more things to review,” Yamaguchi said, then paused. He made a doubtful expression at what he had just said, and Kei snorted. “Or not, knowing them.”

“I doubt they will. Either way, that’s going to be her problem.”

“I’m not sure she considers it a problem. I think they’re becoming friends.”

Kei made a face. “Really? Then she’s a saint.”

He watched as Yamaguchi stopped fiddling with something under his table to cover his mouth and hide a laugh.

“Come on, Tsukki. They’re probably not that bad.”

“You just used ‘probably’.”

“Ah, I guess I did. But still.”

“Come on, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki.”

Yamaguchi wasn’t sorry, and he had a point - they both knew it but none voiced it.

A comfortable silence was made between them as Yamaguchi went back to whatever he had been doing, and Kei finished his lunch. There was time left before the next class started, so Kei picked his headphones, found a comfortable position to lean against the chair, and closed his eyes as music flooded to his ears.

It was easy to let himself be immersed by the music - he knew Yamaguchi was nearby and would call him when it was time to sintonize back, so Kei could let himself forget about the idiot duo, about school, and about life. He only had some minutes, but when it got to be too much, it was better than nothing.

The song came to an end, allowing the sounds of his classmates’s chatter to reach Kei’s ears again. It was an unwelcome disturbance, and when he reached for his phone to forward to the next song, he caught Yamaguchi staring at him with a thoughtful expression. Kei rose an eyebrow in question.

Yamaguchi startled and waved his hand in a frantic dismissive gesture. “Sorry, it’s nothing,” he said. He glanced down at something, up at Kei again, then finally to the side.

It definitely wasn’t nothing.

“If you say so.”

Yamaguchi looked back with a frown to whatever it was he hid under his table. Kei let him think for a few seconds, and just as he was about to concentrate on his music again, Yamaguchi glanced up.

“Actually…” Yamaguchi’s soft voice came just as the next song ended, and Kei uncovered one ear to show he was listening. “Remember when I told you my mom taught me how to make origami?”

Kei nodded. It wasn’t hard when he had a reminder every time he visited Yamaguchi’s home and saw the origami spread between his shelves. Yamaguchi was skillful, but he was too harsh on himself, so only the ones he considered his best works made it there, with one or other making it to other places in the house due to Yamaguchi’s mother’s wishes. The rest of his origami were stacked inside a drawer that became fuller as time passed, and Kei remembered being young, discovering about it, and thinking how cool it’d be to look at them in the future and see clearly the progress made.

“She learned the tricks on how to fold well with my father. He, he was really good, going by what my mom told me, and he made flower origami especially well. We both know I’m not good at making those, even if I want to be,” Yamaguchi said with a laugh.

Kei remembered this as well. Every time he saw Yamaguchi trying to make one, it ended up in frustration because he folded a part wrong, the paper started wrinkling, or even one of the petals was missing, depending on the type he tried.

“But I’ve always wanted to make a good one so I kept trying, and, yeah. Here, it’s a Camellia.”

He was holding a pink flower origami.

The conversation had been leading to this, so Kei wasn’t surprised. The origami version of a Camellia looked like a flat octahedron - each triangle-like petal was folded so its tip ended underneath the next one, and the middle of the flower was marked by tips of paper turned up, creating a square center.

“It’s really good. Congrats,” Kei said, smiling.

“It’s for you.”

This, he wasn’t expecting.

“For me? Don’t you want to keep this one? It’s so well done.”

Yamaguchi smiled. It was a simple action and nothing uncommon, but it made Kei's heart skip a beat. For a few seconds, everything around them blurred, and Kei's eyes were only for Yamaguchi, for the way his smile overflowed sheer affection and warmth. He looked endearing, and Kei wished Yamaguchi would smile more like this.

Then the moment was gone, and Yamaguchi’s smile turned shy. “It’s fine. I want you to keep it. Ah, if you want, that is. It is a silly thing to keep if you’re not a big fan of origami, so uh…”

“I don’t mind,” Kei said. He put the origami flower inside a separate pocket in his school bag where he knew it’d be safe from being crushed or wrinkled. It felt a bit weird to treat a piece of folded paper with care, but he knew how important flowers and origami were to Yamaguchi. And he gave the first one he considered a success to Kei.

Yamaguchi’s smile brightened, and Kei’s heart skipped another beat. He nodded, closed his eyes, and focused on his music, decided on ignoring the feeling drumming inside his chest.

It made no sense, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original scene titles, the flowers mentioned and their meanings:
> 
> \- "A yellow daffodil from shaking hands" - new beginnings and joyousness  
> \- Peach roses - appreciation, sincerity, gratitude and modesty  
> \- "Blue tulips as a promise and a remembrance" - loyalty and trust  
> \- "A pink camellia as an origami" - longing and desire  
> 


	2. Then they changed despite the uncertainty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, this isn't finished yet. I know I said I'd post this long ago, but my life made a strange turn mid February and I haven't been able to write since then. I didn't want you guys to feel like I've forgotten this story, so I split the chapter in two again. The last part is already half-written, but I have no idea when I'll finish it. 
> 
> I had an idea for an epilogue so I can add it if you guys are interested, but I'll wait until next chapter to see that.

  * **...as a good luck charm  
**



Kei adjusted his backpack, checked the time on his phone and hid a yawn behind his hand. It was almost midnight, the time Takeda and Ukai had told them to be at the school, the last members of the team had just arrived, and Kei wanted nothing more than to be at home sleeping on his bed.

Alas, this damn trip was still considered a club activity - a very important one, as Yamaguchi insisted on repeating to him - so here Kei was. Takeda was giving them some warnings and precautions for the trip, and Kei half-tried to pay attention if only to distract himself from how Hinata was bouncing from one foot to the other beside him.

It was going to be a long night.

“Think positive, Tsukki.” Someone nudged Kei, and he turned to see Yamaguchi smiling at him. “Everyone fell asleep quick last time, so the night should be peaceful.”

“Yeah, but those two didn’t come with us that night.”

“Ah, true. Let’s double think positive: they might get tired easily.”

“Or they could stay awake the whole night. I doubt Hinata will be quiet if that’s the case.”

Yamaguchi huffed. “Positive, Tsukki.” He glanced at Hinata, and his expression changed, acquiring a hint of worry. “Besides, I don’t think they’re talking to each other.”

“That may change during the trip. There’s a few hours ahead of us until Tokyo.”

“No, I meant not talking at all for the past few days. They never seemed to stop talking and disputing about everything, but now... I wonder what happened.”

Kei looked around, and in agreement to what Yamaguchi said, Hinata was at one side of their group looking at everything in wonder, while Kageyama was at the other side talking with Sugawara and Ennoshita, and both had their backs turned to each other and were firmly not looking in the other’s direction.

“Even they are capable of having a serious fight, huh,” Kei said. He sighed. “They’re both too stubborn and simple-minded, so I’m not sure if it’s gonna be easy or hard for them to solve that.”

“Yeah. It’s normal for them for fights to happen, but they were getting so close that it’s weird seeing them ignoring each other.”

“At least, we might get some peace,” Kei said, but he knew it wasn’t simple like that.

Yamaguchi looked uneasy when he shrugged, murmuring “I guess”. His worry made a strange thought cross Kei’s mind - what if it had been them? Kei and Yamaguchi had their disagreements from time to time, but to think there could be a subject that could one day create a rift between them, one possibly too deep to fix, was disconcerting.

Kei threw away the thought in the deepest corner of his mind, deciding on ignoring it.

“Hey, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said, paused, and bit his lip. His eyes met Kei’s, and for a moment, Kei felt unable to look away. The air seemed heavy all of a sudden, making him wonder if their conversation had reminded Yamaguchi of something, if it had made him think the same Kei had.

“Yeah?”

Yamaguchi hesitated. Before he spoke again, Takeda started clapping, catching everyone’s attention and breaking Kei’s daze. “Shall we go?” Takeda said, and Ukai waved at them to enter the minibus.

Kei looked back at Yamaguchi.

“I can tell you later. There’s no hurry.” Yamaguchi gave him a nervous smile that said otherwise, and Kei nodded, following the others to the minibus.

True to Yamaguchi’s earlier words, after the initial rowdiness during the first hour of the trip, the conversations began to quiet down to murmurs. Soon, most of the team fell asleep, and Kei was able to relax, lowering the sound of the song playing on his phone.

He leaned his forehead against the window, and let its cold surface, a calming song and the constant vibrations from the minibus moving sooth him. He dozed off not long after, but it was a restless sleep as expected, and he woke up from time to time.

Kei decided to break this cycle and remain awake when it became impossible to lean against the window without the first sunrays flashing on his face. He rubbed his eyes, frustrated, and untangled his earphones, which had fallen sometime during the night.

Kei sighed, and Yamaguchi murmured something unintelligible as if in an answer. He, unlike Kei, was sound asleep. His posture was relaxed and his face looked peaceful behind the bangs that has slid across his forehead, covering his eyes partially. The sight was endearing in a way only Yamaguchi could be, and Kei gave in to the urge to move the bangs aside.

His hand brushed against Yamaguchi’s cheek, and the sensation of its warmth on the tips of his fingers sent a shiver down Kei’s spine. He hesitated - looking at Yamaguchi’s face, how his features in the soft light of early morning were the same and yet so different, made a soft tickling grow inside his stomach.

It was because of that that he noticed when Yamaguchi’s eyes fluttered open.

Kei pulled his hand back, startled, at the same time the minibus made a sharp turn. The movement shook Kei, who had to put a hand on his seat for balance, while Yamaguchi bumped into his side with a startled yelp.

There was a curse from the front of the minibus and an apology in response to the confused complaints as everyone was shaken awake.

Yamaguchi groaned, massaging his head. Kei held out his hand for Yamaguchi to use as a support, but instead Yamaguchi leaned his forehead against Kei’s arm, near his shoulder.

“Yamaguchi?”

“Sorry, I just…”

Yamaguchi squeezed his eyes shut, hand moving to pinch the bridge of his nose, and Kei understood then that he had gotten dizzy.

“It’s okay. Take your time.”

They remained like that for a while. Kei had to force himself to look outside the window, ignoring how his skin felt hot under Yamaguchi’s touch and tingled under his breath. His hand itched to pat Yamaguchi’s hand or rub between his shoulder blades in hopes to alleviate his unwellness, to do anything to help, and yet, Kei also couldn’t find it in himself to move.

It wasn’t often that he and Yamaguchi remained so close physically. Their friendship wasn’t affective, with only some random but quick casual touches, but this felt right - comforting, even.

Kei wished he could make the moment last.

Alas, he couldn’t, and soon Yamaguchi took a deep breath, his hold tightening before he released Kei’s arm and straightened up. “Thanks,” Yamaguchi said.

Kei shook his head. “It’s okay. Are you better?”

“Yeah. What, uh, what happened?”

“Nothing much. The bus made a sharp turn and you slid down.”

“Oh, okay.” Yamaguchi leaned back on his seat rubbing his eyes, his gaze flickering to Kei before it fell to his lap. “Sorry, Tsukki.”

“It’s fine, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Are we in Tokyo?”

“Not yet, but we’re close.”

“Okay. I think I’m gonna stay awake. I don’t want to feel lethargic when we arrive, like last time.”

Kei murmured an agreement, his voice falling short when Yamaguchi pulled a strand of hair from behind his ear loose. It covered the side of his face, but it did nothing to hide the blush darkening his cheeks. It went from the tip of his nose to his ears, making his freckles stand out in a charming way, and Yamaguchi was trying to hide it.

Kei frowned, having the sudden urge to pull the strand back and to run his fingers over Yamaguchi’s cheek, to feel his warmth again.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, Kei forced himself to look away. He picked his phone, and pretended to search a song in his playlist.

There was a while of awkward silence, punctuated by the noise their teammates were making as they tried to settle into sleep again. It was Yamaguchi who broke it suddenly, murmuring “Oh. Wait.”

His voice was barely audible, and Kei would have missed it if he wasn’t still overly conscious of Yamaguchi’s presence near him. Yamaguchi was rummaging through his bag when Kei looked at him.

“I don’t think I can go anywhere else right now,” Kei said back, out of habit.

Yamaguchi sniggered, but he sounded nervous, more than usual. When he leaned back on his seat, he held out his hand, revealing a small, orange rose bud. “I ended up forgetting, but I wanted to give you this before.”

After a few years of knowing Yamaguchi, Kei knew his flower gifts were a constant. It wasn’t hard for him to discover what types of situations led Yamaguchi to give them - they acted like messages, rememberers or reassurances, so it was logical that they were given as gifts whenever something important was coming or had just happened.

Sometimes, however, Yamaguchi was completely unpredictable, like now.

Kei stared at the small flower in surprise. His hand raised on its own, and Yamaguchi dropped the rose on his palm. Kei realized then that its petals were made of cloth and its stalk of plastic.

“A fake flower?”

“Yeah.”

“And you want me to have it?”

“Just during the camp, actually.”

Kei furrowed his brow in confusion, and he knew the question on his face was obvious. Yamaguchi twiddled with his fingers, and when he spoke again, his eyes were on the rose bud.

“It’s supposed to act as a good luck charm, but I can’t give it to you because it’s not even mine. My mom always lends it to me when we have a match - so everything will go right, she says. And since it’s fake, it’s not like it can wilt or get destroyed. Easily, at least.”

“If it’s your luck charm, you should keep it with you, no?”

“Not really. You know, I saw how the last training camp was tiring for you, so maybe this time it’ll be a bit better?” Yamaguchi asked with a small smile.

Kei looked hesitant at the flower - it was just a few days, but it wasn’t like carrying a fake flower around would change anything. Yet, Yamaguchi’s expression was expectant, like the rose bud had an invisible deepness attached to it, and Kei wondered if he was supposed to know what it meant.

“Just, please take care of it. It’s very precious for my mom.”

Kei nodded, putting it inside his short pocket. “Why? I thought she’d prefer real flowers to a plastic one.”

“It’s just- I think this was a gift from my dad, from when they started dating. My mom keeps it in her room, so you probably haven’t seen it, but there’s a big bouquet of fake roses there. She told me my dad wanted to give her flowers that she liked, but wanted them to last, so that was his idea.”

Kei’s hand froze as it left the pocket. “So this...”

“Yeah. My mom cut a bud from one of the stalks, and she gives it to me whenever she wants to wish me good luck in doing something. I thought it’d be a good idea to lend it to you instead of a real one. So, uh...”

“It’s okay,” Kei said, voice soft. He couldn’t look at Yamaguchi as he spoke, and he had to force his hand away from his pocket. “It’s good. Thanks.”

“Ah, I’m glad you think so.”

Yamaguchi’s voice was quiet too, barely a whisper, and the slight tremble it had made Kei’s breath stop on his throat. His eyes moved back to Yamaguchi in an impulse, right on time to see his lips stretching into a pure happy grin, eyes shining.

Then, just like every time it happened, the moment passed and the smile turned shy, as if Yamaguchi was embarrassed at his display of emotions. Another urge, this one to correct Yamaguchi’s unsaid assumption, hit Kei hard, but he didn’t act on it.

Kei gave him a small smile back, then turned to the window and leaned his head against it, ignoring how he had to close his eyes to avoid being blinded by the sun.

The rest of the way passed quick and mostly in silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable one, and Kei was grateful for the time to think and adjust his emotions back into calmness.

 

* * *

 

  * **...as an expression of feelings**



Kei had just placed his notebook back inside his school bag when he noticed someone stopping beside him. He zipper his bag, and looked up to see Yamaguchi leaning against the desk beside Kei’s with a small smile.

“Hey, Tsukki.”

“Hey,” Kei said, observing as Yamaguchi tried to hide a yawn. “Tired?”

“Yeah. It was a long week.”

“And it’s going to get worse in two weeks.”

“Don’t remind me. If it was hard staying awake today, I don’t even want to think about exams week. It’s gonna be the death of me.” Yamaguchi gave a long sigh, shaking his head in a dramatic way and trying to look as if he was suffering greatly.

“I’m sure you’ll survive.”

“Perhaps, but with a few more grey hairs.”

“Hang in there, old man.”

“Hey, respect your elders,” Yamaguchi said, trying to sound indignant, but he was struggling against a smile the whole time, ruining the look. A laugh escaped his lips, and soon Kei was joining him sniggering at the ridiculousness of their talk.

It was nice to have a simple conversation as usual, and Kei relaxed. His shoulders felt lighter than it had been this past week.

And what a week it had been.

“So, uh-” Yamaguchi started only to pause. He took a deep breath, all signs of the laughter fading from his expression, and bit his lip. “Wanna walk back home together?”

Kei rose an eyebrow at his hesitance. Yamaguchi continued staring at him in wait, offering no further explanation, and Kei decided to not press. “Sure.”

Yamaguchi grinned, but his forehead had a small wrinkle, one that was characteristic for him whenever he was worried or nervous. Kei got up, wondering if he should ask about it after all, and picked his bag, all the while trying to ignore how Yamaguchi’s smile had made his chest warmer all of a sudden.

It all made no sense, and Kei blamed it on this strange week.

He and Yamaguchi hadn’t had time to simply talk since returning from the camp, both suddenly too busy because of the deadlines to two projects and the volleyball practices, and it had started frustrating Kei to levels he didn’t even know it was possible.

Everything should be normal between them, the question from back at the camp already solved, and yet their friendship, after so long undisturbed, felt odd for a while. Kei hadn’t been able to pinpoint why, and that was the worst part.

This, however, was much better than barely talking for a week, so he welcomed Yamaguchi’s try at a conversation by mentioning the book they were reading for Literature class. It wasn’t remarkable, but it was common ground, and they fell back into their old routine.

They were heading outside the classroom when they were stopped by a classmate.

“Tsukishima-san, don’t forget that the cleaning schedule changed and you’re on duty with us today. We’ll start in twenty minutes.”

Damn. He had forgotten.

Kei nodded in answer to the boy before turning to Yamaguchi, apologetic. “My bad.”

“It’s okay, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said, his smile becoming weak. “I said I’d help at my mom’s shop today, so I might just head straight there instead.”

Kei frowned, noticing the hesitance become clear through Yamaguchi’s whole expression despite his poor try at seeming cheerful.

“Alright.”

He noticed, yet his tongue felt tied, leaving him unable to ask what was wrong, or even to suggest they should hang out during the weekend to de-stress a bit, maybe watch a movie or a documentary as they did sometimes.

Should he say something, or was it better to wait until Yamaguchi talked about what was troubling him? It might just be a bad afternoon with a small problem, or it might be something that was in his mind for the whole past week - and Kei hadn’t the slightest idea which one was right.

Maybe they needed some time only for themselves. Maybe they would click back together on Monday, and Kei would be able to figure things out.

“Talk to you later.”

“See you.”

Yamaguchi waved and left the classroom, and Kei went to join his classmates.

The cleaning took longer than he expected. His body felt heavy by the end, and his mind was buzzing with too many thoughts for him to have the patience to do more than store the cleaning material before going away.

Kei walked quickly to the shoes lockers, wondering if his parents would already be home from work or if he’d have the house for himself. His train of thought was forced to a stop when he opened his locker, finding a small white box sitting on top of his shoes.

It had the name of a local coffee shop written in cursive letter with a slice of chocolate cake drawn underneath it, completing the shop’s brand. Kei picked up the box, frowning in confusion. It was light, but he was still careful when he turned it around looking for a message or a letter attached to the box, but there was nothing to serve as an explanation.

Then, he noticed one of the corners of the box was slightly dented and ripped, making Kei’s mind go back to two weeks ago when he and Yamaguchi had last gone to this one coffee shop. Kei had eaten a slice of strawberry cake, while Yamaguchi decided to take his home. Afterwards, during their way back, someone bumped onto him, and his cake box fell to the ground, ending up exactly like this one - whole, but with one side damaged.

Why was it here, though?

Kei sat on the bench, his fingers hesitating, and he froze when he opened the box.

There was a card inside it, but it offered no explanation as Kei so wished. His heart thumped hard inside his chest, recognizing Yamaguchi’s clear calligraphy on the only sentence written there: ‘This is a chrysanthemum’, it showed, accompanied by a smiley face.

Kei took the card out, allowing complete sight of the flower lying on the bottom of the box. It was in full bloom, and its deep red contrasted against the plain cardboard color.

Kei picked it up with delicacy, as if it would crumble at an even slightly brusque movement.

This was another one of Yamaguchi’s flower gifts.

One that came inside a cake box instead of being given in person.

Kei could only stare at it in astonished confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original scene titles, the flowers mentioned and their meanings:
> 
> \- "An orange Rose as a good luck charm" - love that comes from friendship, desire and enthusiasm  
> \- "A red Chrysanthemum inside a cake box as an expression of feelings" - a proposition, invitation to ignite a new relationship, love


End file.
